Shoulder Dislocation Bread

Here at ShoulderDislocation.net, we do more than simply talk about shoulder dislocation, shoulder relocation, shoulder articles, and make interesting videos. Yes, you guessed it. We make bread. Here is a step-by-step method of making your very own Shoulder Dislocation Bread.


Step 1: Make the starter

This needs to be prepared about 8-12 hours before you want to make the bread. If you make it in the morning, you will be ready to make the bread just in time for dinner, when your wife comes home from work.

Starter Ingredients

1 1/2 cups plain flour

3/4 cup tepid water

1/2 tsp instant dried yeast

Mix all ingredients together in a medium sized bowl, cover with cling film, and leave in a corner for 8-12 hours.


Step 2: Add the starter to the bread mix

Bread Mix Ingredients

2 cups plain flour

1 tsp dried instant yeast

1 tsp salt

1/3 cup tepid water

Mix all ingredients together for 5 minutes, initially using a large wooden spoon and then knead on a floured board, taking care not to dislocate your shoulder. If you would rather not take the risk of dislocating your shoulder then, use a mixer with the dough attachment. The mixture should be slightly wet, which can be adjusted by adding more flour or more water.

Leave in the bowl with a little olive oil and cover with cling wrap. It should take about 1 hour to rise and double in size.


Step 3: Knead the dough

Once the dough has risen, knead again for a couple of minutes, once again taking care not to dislocate your shoulder. If you do accidentally dislocate your shoulder doing this then you are either kneading too hard or you need surgery on your shoulder. In any case, you need to get the bread in the oven before your wife comes home from work, so you should try the Boss-Holzach-Matter autoreduction technique to pop your shoulder back in.

Mould the dough into the shape of a shoulder girdle (as shown), or any other fancy shape you desire (such as a loaf). Pop onto a lightly floured tray, score the top to make it look pretty, and cover with a tea-towel for 45 minutes. Preheat the oven to 220°C.


Step 4: Bake the bread

After 45 minutes, place the Shoulder Dislocation Bread in the oven for 10 minutes and then turn the temperature down to 180°C, and bake for a further 20-25 minutes, until well browned.


Step 5: Cool

Leave to cool at room temperature on a wire rack before cutting.


Viola! Shoulder Dislocation Bread. Just in time for when the wife walks in the door demanding dinner.

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